Dressage

Dressage Board Chair Liz Shapter.
Liz is trying to compile a list of dressage trainers and barns in the county. If you wouldlike to add a name, please contact Liz with the name, levels trained, background information, whether they have scholled horses, contact information etc. We will be posting this list on this page.

In the meantime, Here is something to keep you laughing.

Top 10 Signs Your Dressage Test Needs Some Work:

1. Under judges remarks she writes only: "Nice braid job."
2. Horse confuses dressage arena rail for a cavaletti; exits at K
3. Your circles shape reminds the judge that he should pick up eggs on the way home.
4. Your serpentine was perfect, except that it was supposed to be a straight centerline. (This will probably be me and Hot Spot." :-)
5. Sitting trot has caused some fillings to be loosened in lower molars.
6. Your horse believes "free walk" means leaving the arena and heading towards the nearest patch of grass.
7. Your working trot had you working harder than your horse.
8. In your salute your inadvertently use your whip hand causing your horse to perform airs above the ground.
9. Your walk seems to be more "rare" than "medium".
10. Impulsion improves only after the horse sees monsters in the decorative shrubbery near letters.

Horse definitions:

Arena: Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.
Bit: Means by which a rider's every motion is transmitted to the extremely sensitive tissues of the mouth.
Bucking: Counterirritant.
Crossties: Gymnastic apparatus.
Dressage: Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit.
Fence: Barrier that protects good grazing.
Grain: Sole virtue of domestication.
Hitching rail: Means by which to test one's strength.
Horse trailer: Mobile cave bear den.
Jump: An opportunity for self-expression.
Latch: Type of puzzle. Longeing: Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.
Owner: Human assigned responsibility for one's feeding.
Rider: Owner overstepping its bounds.
Farrier: Disposable surrogate owner useful for acting out aggression without compromising food supply.
Trainer: Owner with mob connections.
Veterinarian: Flightless albino vulture.

You Know You Have A Dressage Rider's Tack Room when... 1. You own dozens of snaffle bits and they're all exactly alike. 2. You have so many snaffle bridles that students look disgusted when you say, "Go get the snaffle bridle." 3. You own every style of bootjack but still need help getting your boots off. 4. You own every size, shape, and color spurs come in. 5. You own the gallon size container of horse treats. 6. Your last jumping saddle is getting dusty. 7. You own lots of dressage and lunging whips. 8. You let everyone borrow anything except your favorite dressage saddle. 9. You own every size, shape, and color dressage saddle pads come in. 10. Your favorite girth is the one from the saddleseat catalog. 11. You own every style of gel pad available. 12. Your favorite gloves are falling apart but you can't bear the thought of throwing them out. 13. You found a mouse nest at the bottom of the pile of unrolled polo wraps. 14. Your favorite trophy is the plaster cast of your seat from the custom saddle maker. 15. You favorite blue ribbon is from that show that no longer exists.

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